So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
