I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
