I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
