i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
