im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
