Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
