at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
