Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
