either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
