Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
