I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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