just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
