stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
