I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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