Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
