You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
