I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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