a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
