are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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