Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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