Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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