I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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