She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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