I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
