he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
