Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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