is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
