Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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