just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just blew my weed a kiss
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
