Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
