My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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