Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
