people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
