pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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