i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
