ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
