the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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