I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
