didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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