Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
where are my eyebrows?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
