I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
