Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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