Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
