Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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