Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
