wat bout pragnant strippers??
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
