I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
