Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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