It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
