In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
